Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My bed smells like the plague
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
