You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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