Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
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my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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