either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
