Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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