my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
