I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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