Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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