hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
