Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
