3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
