i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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