You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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