the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
