rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize