he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
