Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
