I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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