Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
foreskin is a definite game changer
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
