I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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