i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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