Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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