We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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