apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
