i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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