He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
