Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
