im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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