Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
