Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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