This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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