you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
