I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
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Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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