hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Please, let me fuck your mom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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