It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
