Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
