Yo dont text me then not text me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
then he tried to convert me to islam
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
