the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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