I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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