Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
wow bdsm is so cute
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
