the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
