@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
