I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
