Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
