I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They took my balls.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
