Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize