After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
