I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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