Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
