Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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