see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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