you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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