I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I forgot how hot balto sounded
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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