It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
