And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
