normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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