Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
