She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
