oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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