I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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