Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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