Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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