They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
