I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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