Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
