hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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